MMeO. early tests.
Things to notice.. I tried wearing mascara. It ended up lopsided, which was readily apparent b/c I have pale lashes.
. I tried pulling my hair back in a stylish way. It was difficult to maintain throughout the day. I tried wearing my hair loose. It was difficult to see anything.
. well shit, that new shirt I bought (on sale!) is in the laundry b/c I used it for a performance last week. now what? how am I supposed to suddenly acquire a whole new wardrobe?
. I'm not quite there yet and have to set shit up later.
. Clothing is expensive, all I own are Tees!
. Drycleaning is also expensive, and having to get every new pair of pants altered b/c I'm only 5'4" sucks.
. I love turtlenecks. I look far sassier in the winter.
. not really.
Dudu's comment.The other day for work I made an effort to look more polished. I put on a little mascara (I think it went on ok) and wore a necklace. I chose a t-shirt with a little more shape. I tried to make my ponytail fall just so and look placed. Dudu, a colleague at work who takes no end of pleasure in teasing me for not being more "girly", told me I looked "very put together today. Is it intentional?".
I nearly fell over! And since no beauty is ever supposed to be artificial, I said "no."
Liz.Everytime she sees me with my hair down, she says "Oh! you look so pretty with your hair down!" How do I look with it up?
Making an effort.These were the days I felt good already. I had drive. I felt safe taking on a little something more. What about the days I feel like crap?
Labels: MMeO
MMeO. en route to change.
Esther gets a makeover.
1. assess the "problems"
2. get friends + acquaintances (people I know well and not so well) to give their impressions of me now and 10 months from now.
3. seek advice from a consultant
4. put the advice into action
5. see what happens to me - will my perception of myself change? will other people's perceptions of me change?
Labels: MMeO
MMeO. a description.
Make Me Over. MMeO.
There is a myth of transformation. A beautiful person is concealed under a confusing appearance - an appearance that doesn't use social codes to communicate. And if we would only translate that person's beauty into the standard language of social norms, their inner beauty would be revealed to all. The awkward person's problems of social ineptitude would be magically solved.
So goes the fairytale. And in the movies, it always works. The girl adapts seamlessly to her new environment of make up, big hair, and high heels. She gets the guy, the job, and all her dreams, present and future.
Today's codes are looser and broader than those we read about, but they remain in place nonetheless. Everyone can tell the difference between a carefully placed disheveled and truly unkempt - between the fashionably coded and the out of style.
I am fascinated by the way in which our appearance communicates us - and whether or not it can change us. Can these movie-style makeovers actually work as smoothly as portrayed?
I am starting a new project,
Make Me Over, to examine the question and the process. It will involve the men and women who peddle the put-on self: make-up artists, hair stylists, fashion designers and salespeople. I will try different shops and differnt solutions to try to "make me over", following advice and letting experts decide for me.
I hope to bring other women like me into this process. Women who make themselves pretty and women who don't, women who daily make a conscious effort and women who just grab their clothes and go. It will involve those who watch us make these choices - the men and women, the peers and supervisors, the mentors and protegees.
To be part of the project, send me your story: esthermpalmer [at] gmail.comLabels: MMeO
Find Me in Here. dance dance dance.
My break from electromagnetism has been too long, but there are fruits -- of a sort.
This past week I turned in a grant proposal to the
Queens Council on the Arts to help fund a new project. The decisions are announced in December, by which time I expect I'll have forgotten that I even applied --new to me as of last year, the holidays are not a time for making my own work. It has become a time for making creative holiday cards and pretty wrapping paper and figuring out how the hell I'm going to get gifts for so many people. sigh.
But as I was saying, the grant. I think what I turned in was clumsy - because they limit the CHARACTERS in which you can argue your claim to the funding! Word limits I can live with. Char limits are ridiculous. I was forever having to change around whole sentences because I was 2 bleeping chars over. But never mind that, keep your fingers crossed for me until December and clumsy may not matter.
Whether or not I receive the grant (fingers! cross 'em!), I will be able to go forward with the project, and a nice and simple one it is.
I am going create a group dance. Novel, I know. But really, I haven't made a piece that was much more than a solo since high school. Oh, no wait, there was that one really awful piece in college. That one was so bad, I don't think it counts. And there are many reasons why I haven't bothered to try since then (none of which is my aforementioned failure). They aren't really relevant, let's just say I've been dancing with architecture for the past five years and I want to dance with people again.
Now, don't get too excited. There will be no "phrase" making on my part. The dancers get to do all the movement generating. There will be improvisation, it might feel like comp class at first, and it will probably take a while to sort things out, but it will be wild and exciting. That is, I can't wait to work with bodies in the flesh instead of lines on paper.
When the dance is finished by next June, we're going to visit the parks and see if people will watch us rehearsing the finished dance -- see if we can entice some of them to learn some of it -- hear what they have to say and answer their curiosities and questions. It's going to be a blast.
p.s. If you want to be a part of the project (I need five dancers, a graphic designer, a costumer, and some volunteer publicity help), lemme know. The official search happens in January 2009.
Labels: Find Me in Here
