electromagnetic pulse

MMeO. Wearing it on my sleeve.

Slowly and over the past several months I have been learning the clothing lessons. I spend a good deal more time browsing sales (online mostly) and worrying about not having the right shoes (I still need several more pairs) since really, shoes are critical to one's wardrobe. They have to function (absorbing shock to minimize wear + tear on the joints b/c even at my young age, they're going) and show flair (b/c it is so easy to be outlandish in one's shoes without making others uncomfortable about one's excessive fashion statement). I have spent more money than comes naturally on new shoes + clothes and it only makes me more aware of how many articles I still lack. I can say I have been rather creative (yes even at 630AM) dressing for my new job. Now that I am desk bound, I feel freer to put together any most outfit and bolder about wearing my "nice" clothes, since there's guaranteed not to be any ladder climbing. It is also through my marked effort this summer + fall that I have even ventured into wearing skirted things. I have revived at least one old dress that may not be all together fashionable but is flattering in a classic way. The handful of dresses acquired in the search for the perfect outfit to wear to someone else's wedding have all seen daylight more than once (including the successful dress), which might be a dress wearing record for me.

But mostly I am simply learning to read everything more confidently and quickly than I did before, which makes me both more at ease with other people's appearance and attire and also anxious about not living up to my own potential in outfit-making. And also my drive to look more grown up and sophisticated is fading. In part because I find whatever feelings of confidence I gain are troubled by lurking shadows of falseness. Perhaps also because I can associate this type of dress only with work and scheduled commitments, which are not bad, but feel constricting.

So here I am, missing my days of denim + tees, but making "progress" nonetheless.

Labels: MMeO

posted by e m p @ 11:01 AM