electromagnetic pulse

open studio #7.

It's been a long break in between Open Studios --I am returning to my weekly practice (finally) hoping it will also help to ground me through the next stage of turmoil in my life. And my session today has been peaceful and fruitful. It's the first practice in which I've successfully "imagined" an audience and addressed their presence in my choices. Of course, I get no adrenaline rush from empty chairs, but at least I was able to focus.
When I am dancing alone in the studio, I tend to be either "boring" (meaning traditional and following pre-existing patterns) or uncharacteristically silly --which is actually not uncharacteristic at all, I just don't display that part of myself to many people and certainly not in "performance mode." Being silly is a relief. It lets in new ideas without judgment or evaluation. They are all valid and real.
I am amazed at our capacity for tuning into the body -- a sensitivity to movement and feeling on such a minute scale. Just listen closely and you'll feel it. Move with careful intention slowed to a pace that lets you feel the muscles flexing and releasing, the blood flowing, and your nerves tingling with information.
It is its own kind of dance and performance, this solo improvisation I do. It's not particularly special for being a type or genre or dance, but it's also not to be categorized with most other dances.
I'm saying this poorly. What I mean is that *I* don't imagine that I am creating a solo dance or a solo choreography. I am not trying to fit in and I am not trying to be different. The brilliant and exciting part is that I am trying just to connect to myself, o be genuinely inspired into action -whatever that action might be. I feel so alive in these moments, so selfishly and indulgently awake. I want others to share in my thrill without my having to give up any of it, without having to come down one step off my high. It is glorious and dangerous.
I think, in truth, I have been away from Open Studio these two months (!) because the energy from the May performance (about which I neglected to write for the same reason) was so strong that I needed to just ride it out before I could face the empty studio with only a fraction of that feeling available to me. It was overwhelming.

Labels: openstudio

posted by e m p @ 10:01 AM