electromagnetic pulse

Find Me in Here. Lydia on "do i like my name?"

At first when Esther posed the question “do you like your name?” I thought, yes, of course. I like that it is 3 syllables, I like that my parents got in from Jane Austen, I like the Marx Brothers’ “Lydia the Tattooed Lady” song. I started to make my phrase as an emotional response to these images. But during this process I remembered a time when I didn’t like my name–it was the first day of a new grade in elementary school. The gym teacher was taking roll call and taking note of any nicknames–Roberts that went by Bob or Stephanies that went by Steph. In the spirit of starting things afresh, I decided that I wanted a nickname, and when the gym teacher called me I announced that I would go by Elizabeth. (At the time, the name Elizabeth seemed vaguely related to Lydia, if not exactly a shortened form.) I was greeted by laughter from the teacher and students, a harsh reminder that just because it was a new school year didn’t mean I could take on a new identity.

It’s difficult for me to translate these memories into movement but I am eager to continue working like this. I find that my default is to turn to a more theatrical response but I’d like to challenge myself not to feel limited by theatricality. It might help me to let go of the idea that I need to be literal–even if I were to simply make a phrase while pondering these questions, the questions would find a way to make themselves known.

Labels: FMiH

posted by e m p @ 12:25 AM